im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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