The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
