I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
