I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
