"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
