I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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