i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize