I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
