it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
