But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
