Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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