i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
