the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
