so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
