Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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