he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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