Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
