You're my little dorito
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
