I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize