Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
