Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
