I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
