Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
