Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
