If that was your dad, he is hot
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
