Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
