you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
