I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
