he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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