Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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