Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
