That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
