Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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