You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
