You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Less talking, more tequila
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
