Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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