apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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