Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
