my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Im part way to drunk.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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