so explain again why im purple
no
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
