I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
