If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
