So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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