I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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