To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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