the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just cut my nipple shaving
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
