i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
