Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
