He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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