Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize