I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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