And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
