I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
