Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
