U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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