I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
