I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
