He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
