don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
