I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he laminated a picture of his dick.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My bed smells like the plague
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