that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize