Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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