what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
