ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
