when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Come back. Shots need mouths.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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