her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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