We need to rekindle our bromance
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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