Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
