Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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