I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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