he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
