A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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