If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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