I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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