I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize