Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Randomize
