I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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