I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
