Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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