you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
